Strut, Baby!

Novel Progress

After getting lost in the brambles of chapters three and four, I’ve wiggled through chapter five and am on the path again! Soon, I’ll reach the fallen Kansas ranch-style home and grab those ruby slippers before that assassin Dorothy… wait…

Writing Advice: Be PROUD of What We Make You Do!

Sheepish about your art? Don’t be! Especially because “sheepish” is close to the word “sheeple.” And people who say “sheeple” make me wish I could undergo mitosis so I could have two of me to punch them.

Wow, I wandered off early, didn’t I?

Anyway, stick up for your art. Not to be a philistine about this, but writing is a part of the entertainment industry. It’s not entertaining when you ask someone what their novel is like and they say, “Well… er… it’s kind of like a romance but also a western. Kind of a western romance. No no no… it’s all been done before. It’s not original or very good. I have to go.” <Runs away crying>

Not the kind of novel you’d want to read, right? When the author turns against the story, it’s got to suck. Doesn’t matter how good the novel may actually be. You are already predisposed towards it.

They say the first bite is with the eye, which is nonsense because most people’s eyes don’t have teeth. If one of you says “The Corinthian did”, congratulations! You know your graphic novels. Now shut up. I mean actual people, not anthropomorphized representations of nightmares.

Anyway, first-bite-eye-blah blah blah. Often the first interest in reading is by word of mouth, either from a friend or via review. Again, if the author says that the novel isn’t worth the bother, then no one will bother.

OWN your writing! Make it the first foot in the door. Be proud of what your muse forces you to do when you could be doing other things like socializing or getting into fights over sports teams!

Don’t PWN your writing. Don’t set it on fire and “teabag” it. Don’t make rude assumptions about its sexuality and make speculations on what its parents are like. Seriously, it doesn’t make you cool.

Petting DOES make you popular, though.


 

Care to share something you are proud of?