OBEY ME! – by M.D. Ambersaurius

Steak

If I were to summarize my sixty-seven years in the world of business, it would be this:

Get moving or get the lash!

That’s right! Encouraging “growth” in people is useless when ninety-five percent of the people you meet are schmoes who can barely make up a decent slave pool.

Er, I mean workforce.

“Worker autonomy” is all well and good if you are working for the American Communist Party or some other “small business,” but if you really want to make it in the USA, you need to learn what it means to follow an asshole blindly and do whatever you can to look like the most efficient lackey ever evolved from the Morlock pits known as the American Public School System.

The real trick to success is mastering the delicate art of kissing ass without leaving a trace of lipstick behind.

So, what am I saying? That capitalism is nothing more than the business version of the human centipede where long chains of the employed are sewn in an ass-to-mouth corporate structure, ultimately connecting to the head man who gets to eat all the filet mignon?

HELL YES, I AM SAYING EXACTLY THAT.

So if you want to earn your barely-sufficient paycheck, open that pretty mouth and get ready for the sutures. Otherwise, no health care for you! The most you can expect is the occasional gas station cheese sandwich bought for your birthday.

Unless you’re a rich, white male. In that case, how do you like your steak?


About the Author: M.D. Ambersaurius is better than you. It may be harsh, but it is so. You will have to deal with this someday, probably on your deathbed. You will ask yourself and your loved ones gathered around you: “why aren’t any of you M.D. Ambersaurius?! Why aren’t *I* M.D. Ambersaurius?” The answer will never come to you. Read his LinkedIn to understand why.

The LinkedIn of M.D. Ambersaurius