NARCOLEPSY NIGHT SCHOOL

Do you have a friend with narcolepsy? I have two!

No, I am not going to give you one of them. What is your problem?! First of all, your question seems to indicate a very lax attitude towards human trafficking. Second of all, how am I going to mail one to you?

You have to think these things through.

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Something About Vampires

Are vampires still a thing? Did Twilight kill that at last? Are they still a romantic ideal of some sort – kind of an aristocratic rape-y sort of thing where someone in a higher economic class comes down and robs you of your free will with their eye-ruffies?

I hope not! I like vampires!

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Woody Allen’s Unfinished Fall Projects

Thanks to the Internet, we have access to information we never needed, wanted, or should have.

For instance, imagine my surprise that while searching “The Pirate Bay” (for purely academic reasons that are not in any way linked to finding non-racist Daffy Duck cartoons) I stumbled across a .zip file called “Woody Allen’s Unfulfilled Projects.” So of course, I had to download that…

Er…

I have no idea how that file ended up on my machine, and you are a cretin for thinking any differently.

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