“What Fresh Madness Are You Proposing Now?” More Letters to Phil

Oh, Phil. Eternally enticing me with new career options.

I kind of imagine him as a perky red-headed man with a nice smile and a “means well” demeanor. More realistically, he probably looks like this:

A baby picture of Phil

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How Do I Tell My Five-Year-Old Daughter That She’s A Bad Dramatist?

I love my daughter more than a this stupid keyboard I’m typing on can express. Yet, I cannot stand playing pretend with her using her dolls and action figures.

It has nothing to do with toxic masculinity or embarrassment. I’d put on nail polish, bows in my hair, and glitter blush on my cheeks for her. Hell, I might end up feeling pretty while I’m at it!

No, the problem is that my five year old has NO idea about the classical unities, and that is becoming a deal-breaker.

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Talking To Writers

It was said that writing is the most solitary of artistic endeavors. I cannot remember who said that.

Was it that guy at the bus station? No, he had some interesting (and gross) proposals for me but no real insight. Probably someone at a coffee house. Notions like that flow heavily in a coffee house. Starbucks, yes, but even more so in local coffee houses, where people will pin you down into a black hole conversation of “no corporate coffee!” that is so dense that not even insight can escape.

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Woody Allen’s Unfinished Fall Projects

Thanks to the Internet, we have access to information we never needed, wanted, or should have.

For instance, imagine my surprise that while searching “The Pirate Bay” (for purely academic reasons that are not in any way linked to finding non-racist Daffy Duck cartoons) I stumbled across a .zip file called “Woody Allen’s Unfulfilled Projects.” So of course, I had to download that…


I have no idea how that file ended up on my machine, and you are a cretin for thinking any differently.

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Dear Phil – Letters from the Job Front

A couple of months ago, I placed my resume on the open market to see what nibbles. I’ve made some good contacts. But since I haven’t been pursuing this very hard, there hasn’t been much traction.

That is, until Phil contacted me. He’s been sending me automated job alerts. Since some of the jobs he’s recommended have been… well… out of my career path, I have been emailing him back. So far, the conversation has been one-sided.

So far.
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